Mal Malloy: Because she’s a nice person, damn it

Edit: I’m pretty much just leaving this entry here for the discussion that ensued in the comments section, which had little to do with the blog itself.

That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty… you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.

—J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

Holden Caulfield in J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye can’t help occasionally caring about (or falling “half in love” with) girls he has no clear reason to care about.

This is precisely what has happened to me with Mal Malloy. I will now explain why this minor crush is not entirely emotionally retarded.

Mal Malloy

You cannot repel cuteness of this magnitude.

It was an accident

I came across Mal Malloy’s videos a few days ago while quite innocently looking up girls with big butts. That part of my plan worked out brilliantly.

What I hadn’t expected to do is spend ten minutes just listening to her talk—and in the process realize that she is a really cool girl with an unbelievably cute personality and not a small amount of humility.

I’ve been a lot happier now with my body. It’s—mine, that’s for sure. And there’s people that find it very sexy. Most people would think it’s hideous or something. But that’s life, and I’m glad that there’s people that really, really like it.

She’s not just cute in her speech and mannerisms, or how she feels awkward talking about sexual stuff, or how she doesn’t act like she’s the shit—you get a real sense of general niceness about her. And she has a good sense of humor.

I watched a video of a gorgeous girl and wound up ogling her personality.

A quick search turned up an interview with her as well, in which she explained why she took down her YouTube channel a while back:

Well, in part it’s because of my decision to pursue a career in the Medical Field. It’s not just that having sexualized videos might lower my chances of getting accepted to a good Medical School, but also that my job and life will be devoted to caring for other people. I have to be strong emotionally and learn to be as selfless as I can.

I decided that evening that things like overwhelming positive attention can be very addictive and have a very negative effect on how I view and interact with other people. I would like to stay humble and not let that sort of thing go to my head.

I don’t pretend to know this girl in any real way, but what I’ve seen indicates that she’s a funny, genuine, relatively selfless person.

And not too nice, either. You see just the right amount of naughty if you look at her Tumblr page. (Which also evidences her artistic tastes. The girl’s got a lot of great personality points.)

What I don’t mind

If I knew Mal Malloy in real life, dating her would be on my to-do list. But I don’t. Once you multiply probability factors like (1) getting in touch with her, (2) standing out as someone who’s actually not a creep, (3) location (no idea), the product of that equation is a very slim chance that dating her is a realistic outcome.

Fine. Like I said, it’s only a crush. She’s incredibly cute, but I’ll live.

What I do mind

Something else irritates the fuck out of me: the horny dogs who fuel the evil machine of the internet.

Some of the comments on her videos make me sick. “Phat booty wanna suck yo ass blah blah.” Comments like that make me momentarily embarrassed to be male.

(And, to be honest, I’m generally unsettled by this nice girl being objectified by thousands of men. But that’s just me being over-sensitive.)

I’m sure she expects lewd comments and rude messages. I’m sure it doesn’t get to her.

Also, I would be pretty arrogant to conceive of myself as so much better than the other guys.

Nevertheless, I have this impulse to post my own comment: “She’s not an object, you pigs! She’s a nice person! A real person! Show her some bloody respect!

As Holden Caulfield might say, those bastards kill me.

Don’t worry, my reaction is just as funny to me as it is to you.

There’s another video in which she describes her favorite sexual positions. My God, there are men in this world who have had sex with this woman! Never mind the simple jealousy I feel toward those lucky sons of bitches dudes. I find myself thinking things like, “I hope they actually cared about her and weren’t douchebags to her.”

I crack myself up—

  1. because it’s ridiculous for me to care about such things,
  2. because I actually mean it.

It’s been a very Catcher in the Rye experience.

To be clear

I’m not so conceited as to think that all these other men are horny pigs and I’m this noble guy who likes her for her personality (I arrived on her channel for the same reason they did). It only seems like that when I sit here and see lewd comments on her videos.

I certainly don’t think of her as a victim. She clearly enjoys the attention, and she’s got a choice in doing what she does.

My point is

So I find myself in the odd position of developing a light crush on a girl I’ve never met, and winding up caring about her to some degree.

It’s clear enough from watching her videos that she’s a cool and unique person. I hope she knows this. As much as I think it’s great that she has the confidence to show off her body, it’s not the sort of occupation you’d wish on a woman as a career. She will have to make a clean break from this business at some point if she’s going to pursue her real life goals, and I hope she does that.

And, of course, outside the tiny probability that her path and mine would ever cross, I hope she finds a really kick-ass man. (The lucky bastard.)

I crack myself up.

…There were about a million girls sitting and standing around waiting for their dates to show up… It was sort of depressing, too, because you kept wondering what the hell would happen to all of them. When they got out of school and college, I mean. You figured most of them would probably marry dopey guys. Guys that always talk about how many miles they get to a gallon in their goddam cars. Guys that get sore and childish as hell if you beat them at golf, or even just some stupid game like ping-pong. Guys that are very mean. Guys that never read books. Guys that are very boring.

—J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

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22 comments
  1. Javoe1 said:

    There are millions of girls exploited on the internet every day that are as equality sweet and genuine as she is. The difference is: MM has a personality that is WHITE in your mind. WHITE = pure and innocent, as in Snow White. The only difference is that she has a figure that in America’s Euro-centric standards of beauty is considered unattractive because it is associated with African features, and by WHITE standards not attractive. Therefore, MM has gone around her mostly WHITE community feeling overweight and unattractive until her YouTube exposure. Then the WHOLE country saw her and noticed how BEAUTIFUL she and ALL voluptuous women are. I am Mexican and we ONLY like women that are voluptuous because many there are deep African roots in Mexico and throughout Latin America. You are protective not because she is being exploited, per se–but because she is WHITE i.e. innocent, and being considered very attractive by mostly BLACK and LATINO men. You judge the MINORITY MEN as having INFERIOR STANDARDS and therfore do not deserve to be watching her. The IRONY is the RACIST AMERICA rejects MM’s style of beauty. And any LOVE is better that NO love. You are not upset or genuinely feel offended about the particular comments themselves, for If the situation was reversed, as a sweet and voluptuous BLACK GIRL was being treated that way by mostly WHITE MEN, which happens EVERYDAY, you would not feel as protective as you do about MM. This is all part of the phenomenon known as the psychology and sociology of beauty and WHITE PRIVILEGE. Taste it!

    • Hi, Javoe. The amount of effort you put into your comment indicates that you are probably not trolling me, so I will make the effort to respond.

      You seem to assume that I am white. I’m not. But I won’t hold that against you; my avatar depicts a white cosmonaut.

      I specifically said that I do NOT think MM is being exploited, and that I don’t have a real reason to feel protective of her.

      The fact that I chose to write about Mal is less likely due to her being white and more to do with the fact that she’s the only such girl who bothers to reveal any personality at all in her videos. Instead of resorting to this Snow White sociological/mythological argument, it’s best to check simpler explanations first.

      Don’t believe everything you learn in college. I took the soft sciences (“humanities”) just like everyone else did. In sociology, I learned about how the space program was all about men wanting to build phallic monuments to their penises. For a professor to dismiss humankind’s ambitions to explore and colonize space as some male chauvinist stunt is pretty arrogant. All that opinion communicates is a jealousy on the part of the weak sciences toward the hard sciences, whose progress is more measurable and celebrated.

      Anything can be analyzed in a sociological, racial, or gender context. The problem is that, when you draw such conclusions, it’s hard to tell whether or not you’re finding arrowheads in a pile of what are actually just stones.

    • Anonymous said:

      Haha, WOW. I am mexican too and I think you need to get a grip about race, man. I’ve been showing this comment to a lot of my friends at the university and they all agree that you’ve either been poorly instructed or are willfully ignorant. I’m going with a combination of both.

  2. Anonymous said:

    lostkosmonaut:

    thanks for your response. I’m working on wrapping up my M.A. this quarter so you’ll have to excuse me for not getting back to you sooner. About ‘hard’ versus ‘soft’ science: all science depends upon concepts and all concepts are mediated through language and culture. Therefore, all scientific knowledge is mediated by language and largely socially constructed. In this way, no science is truly ‘objective’ or ‘unbiased’ insofar no person doing science can completely eliminate or overcome his/her cultural biases or prejudices. I recommend you study the philosophy of science, because the sociology of knowledge and its construction are a fairly well accepted perspective. Thomas Kuhn’s The Structure of Scientific Revolutions is a good place to start.

    Second, white identity is ‘performed’ not biological. Anyone can ‘perform’ whiteness, anytime and anywhere, just like we perform our gender certain ways or others if we so choose. In other words, whiteness is a whiteness does. You are not born ‘white’, but learn to perform it later in life.All the world’s a stage..In American history immigrants sued and presented cases before the Supreme Court to be legally considered white and the Court was never able to come up with a single biologically consistent yardstick for whiteness.

    My central critique of your blog was merely to point out that there are many latina, african-american, asian, arabic voluptuous women on the internet with plenty of wit, personality, boldness, charm, sincerity, and all the great attributes the MM has. However, I find that the attractiveness of these attributes are not judged absolutely, but relatively and defined by how well one ‘performs whiteness’. So my theory is the MM performs whiteness well enough according to current standards to ‘pass for white’ although she may be part native american or another ethnicity and have a figure to prove it. That performance of whiteness endears her in a way that those who don’t perform whiteness don’t. In other words, MM is an anomaly because her figure is considered non-white-like, yet she performs whiteness convincingly. Remember, whiteness is considered to possess all the desirable attitudinal and personality traits, while non-whites are considered ‘stereotypically’ and viewed to possess all the negative traits.

    However, to refute my assumption that you are biased toward one who performs a white personality all you had to do is simply point out that you feel as protective about women of all cultures and backgrounds EQUALLY and that MM’s demographic is largely unrelated to your appreciation for her personality, sincerity, boldness, & etc.

    In other words, just show that you frequently come across girls from all cultures from all parts of the world that you develop crushes analogous to the one for MM and not that you have a TENDENCY to find girls who perform whiteness well to also have better personality types.

    Or just state that you never EVER consider or subscribe negative stereotypes when evaluating different women from different cultures and that you don’t consider some cultures inherently superior or inferior in any way nor do you feel that ‘white females’ tend to have ‘better personalities”.

    Or that you recognize that given that the overwhelming population in the world is non-white, negative racial/ethnic stereotypes are must be based on flagrant statistical errors.

    ~J

    • I don’t know how I’m supposed to basically prove to you that I’m not racist (over the internet, no less), so I don’t see any point in attempting it. Clearly you are set against me anyway. So let’s just skip the MM debate and move on to something much more interesting.

      There is nothing culturally relative about the laws of the physical universe. The same experiments can be performed by people of any cultural or ethnic background and the results will come out the same.

      The hard sciences (even biology) are grounded in mathematics, which are not culturally relative. At all. Mathematics are so universal and objective that if we ever make contact with an alien species (you don’t get more culturally different than that) math will be our best option for communicating with them.

      It is the soft sciences that are built of concepts made only of language, and which suffer from the relativity that you claimed all science to have.

      To see how well developed a science has become, you need only look at its powers of prediction and control. Physics, chemistry, and biology all have outstanding powers of prediction and control. Psychology is catching up—but only thanks to understanding the physical (hard) processes of the brain.

      As our brain imaging technology improves, neurology will subsume psychology. Humans and human minds are ultimately physical processes, and with sufficient intelligence can be understood (which of course still leaves the question as to whether humans are intelligent enough to do that, or have the means to that knowledge).

      You clearly have quite an intellectual talent. I’d say that it’s too bad it’s going to waste studying a subject that was made up so professors could have jobs, but you clearly have fun with it. So that’s good.

      As a side note: I couldn’t say that one society or culture is “superior” or “inferior” because those terms are meaningless unless you define your criteria. So to say that a culture is better or worse is too vague to be a meaningful statement. But one can, however, clearly observe which culture out-competes the other, which one dominates and which one goes extinct.

    • To follow up on a point I think I missed: I think you’re talking about the sociology of scientific knowledge and not the sociology of knowledge (in general)? I don’t have time to write a thesis right now—but feel satisfied that you did actually prompt me to look both of those areas of study up. These are philosophies I’ve heard of (and studied briefly in sociology), I just didn’t remember the names. I’m sure the “sociology of knowledge” is widely accepted among sociologists, cultural anthros, etc., but not among physicists, chemists, biologists, computer scientists, etc.

      I don’t think it would be worthwhile for either of us if I wrote a refutation of postmodernism in my blog comment section—and you are no doubt inoculated against it—so I’ll offer two vicarious rebuttals.

      1.> http://richarddawkins.net/articles/824 (corresponding: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sokal_affair)
      2.> http://www.elsewhere.org/pomo/

    • Wally Sparks said:

      Shutup. Please, just shut up. This isn’t the hill to die on you fool. Go do more important things than criticize some guy for liking girls with big asses. You read way too much in to all of this. I’m sitting here thinking “none of this is true. not a bit. he is just telling all of us how we are. this is nothing more than arrogance.” That is what you are writing: hateful arrogance. I am so surprised the owner of this blog even decided to engage you. Find a new home for that chip on your shoulder, pendejo, because it is going to keep you from entering a lot of doors…

    • Anonymous said:

      Me too. Felt an instant infatuation once I heard her speak and felt her gravity.

    • Anonymous said:

      too much bullshit, she is fine given a chance black or Latin men would not hesitate have sex with her, and small number would be white guys simple as that lets drop all the psyche crap geez.

  3. andres said:

    Just one thing I want to be a porn star only with her when she decide to become an starlet!!!!

  4. crush said:

    I have a crush on her too, but i really want to meet her…

  5. Crusty Feet said:

    Mal’s got a phat booty. I wanna suck her ass so good like the bitch that she is.

  6. FACE said:

    THe guy that wrote all this is an embarrassing specimen – the kind that think they are in love with someone they dont even know. Actually worse than those misfits on the Catfish TV show. Mal is just a phat-assed white chick (who I have heard has some racial issues). SHe is cute. VIrgo Peridot has a better overall body and can be almost as cute – if you want a super PAWG.

    • Trey said:

      Dude, 2 things: 1. Mal’s face is a lot better, and her waist-to hip ratio’s much better. Sure, she has cellulite, but so does Virgo, and if a little bit of that turns you off from a woman with a big ass and tiny waist then you have priority issues (and are too much of a perfectionist). So Mal looks better if you’re into the whole ‘women with lots of estrogen’ thing.
      2. Not sure if true, but I heard Virgo’s retarded. It’s probably why she doesn’t talk that much. Mal, on the other hand, is a genius. She says a lot of interesting things, organized every aspect of her publicity, and is probably smart enough to go to Med school. If you see women as more than sex objects (though I see that as one function) the better partner would clearly be Mal. She’s nice, charming, sexy, and intelligent. That’s why this blogger dude raved about her here.

      • Trey said:

        One last bit: yeah, Kosmo, you’re super beta. Don’t fall in love with this woman. Fall in love with her characteristics, and seek a woman with those. Even then, there’s no real reason to love that woman, because if she goes bad somehow, you’ll lose everything you wanted. Just know what you want from women, and get it. Don’t let anyone other than yourself own you. The ‘lucky bastard’ who’s with Mal probably understands that – which would be the reason she’s still with him.

      • Anonymous said:

        I agree with trey, had to google virgo never heard of her she is thick but mal is cuter by a long shot, side note trey,retarded is offensive to some yo, not trying to check you or nothing but mentally challenged is preferred. I use lobby for that segment of our society just sayin

    • Jesse said:

      Racial issues are fine with me as long as it’s not against…well me :D I mean you guys rock out alot better at stuff physically but we live longer o.0

  7. Jesse said:

    Shes mine, stop dreaming ;)

  8. Mike said:

    This guy is trying to hook up with her, plain and simple. Hes hoping shell read this and fall in love with him so he can tap it…every which way. Its funny how a girl with curves like MM brings out this uncontrollable primal urge in men to mate with her .Following from that, the tactics some men will resort to does not suprise me. This girl is like every other girl when it comes down to personality…after a while shes boring….its that body thats special, not her

  9. Mike said:

    also, wanna say that this girl is a WEIRDO…

  10. daniel said:

    This girl poses shows her ass, appears naked and you say she seems a nice person? do you really want a person that does that to be your girlfriend, if you do, you are up to some surprises pal. Also, what do you expect people not talking about wanting to fuck her when she is showing her giant ass?? She is to blame.

  11. I am a 55 year old crippled white man. When I came across MM as blogger did, I felt the same things. I find her incredibly sexy. I care about her. I find her incredibly cute. I want to listen to her talk.I am sad that I am too far past her age to be realistically in the race, no matter. I want good things for her. I am happy she has been absent from the Internet and hope that means good things for her.for anyone who wants to spray venom all over my post for simply sharing, I hope you find your way someday and Learn that hatred can take many forms, even if you are intelligent and even if you want to subject someone in print.
    I can assure you that I am putting forth nothing that should cause anyone distress.yes, the world is a very unfair place and people can be bigoted and hateful and warlike and perhaps think someone else is a better subject for a meaningless crush. I would just like it if people found their humanity and were not so quick to judge or find fault. I smiled when I read what Blogger shared. I thought to myself, ” me too!” whether we are the same race, age, whatever, it does not matter. When I read the following posts I was saddened. That is all. Realistically I will never happen across this thread again since my computer skills are limited. So if it makes you feel better, fire away! I just hope you take the time to wonder why what I wrote illicited that response from you and from there you steer a better coarse.

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