If you wanted me to write on the second-most embarrassing subject I could think of, I’d write about the fact that I like chubby girls.
To be more accurate, I find a range of female body types attractive: from fit to chubby. I do not like skinny girls—and by “skinny” I do not mean normal, which is what most girls refer to as “skinny.” I mean girls who are actually underweight. Most runway models are too thin to interest me sexually.
Something that girls don’t understand: to the same extent there is pressure on women to look a certain way, there is pressure on men to only like girls who look a certain way. There’s a special shame reserved for those of us who find something attractive that we’re not supposed to. It’s humiliating. It makes you feel flawed as a man.
I’d like to think that if I were gay I’d have no problem coming out of the closet, but considering how hard it is for me to even admit that I like thick women it seems more likely I’d be barricaded. Or maybe not. It’s more acceptable to judge a man for liking fat girls than it is to judge him for liking men.
Consider the women above. The two on the left are thin, fit. I am attracted to them, but if they were skinner they’d be too thin.
But now consider the girl on the right. Look at those contours! Look where her estrogen is telling her body to store fat! Look how much more shapely her legs are, how irresistibly cute the curve of her belly, how much more pronounced her hips and female form! Her body stands out and draws attention in a way the other two don’t. It’s bold. It says, I am FEMALE. I’m a WOMAN.
And the girl on the right is really just healthy and normal. She’s not even chubby.
Imagine we had three girls: one who was model-skinny, one who was average, and one in the average-to-chubby area. If forced to choose the most attractive woman in private, there’s no doubt in my mind most men would select the average or heavier girl. But if they had to choose in front of a group of other men, they’d feel the artificial social pressure kick in and they’d choose the average or skinny girl.
More than once I have liked a chubby girl—and done nothing about it because of the judgment I’d incur if I actually did something. “Disgusting, he likes fat chicks.” Or, “She’s lucky he has low self-esteem, or he wouldn’t be with a fat chick like her.” I wouldn’t even have to hear it; I’d just know this talk was going on behind my back. What makes this worse is that I know these girls could at least have gotten an ego boost from turning me down. And maybe they even would have liked me.
More than once, girls I’ve known who weren’t overweight have taken extensive measures to get skinny. It was too difficult for me to tell them that I thought they were much more beautiful before they lost the weight. What is really tragic is that they’d probably think I was making the token “You didn’t have to lose any weight” compliment; they wouldn’t realize it was really true.
The only conclusion I can come to is: I care too much what other people think.
The pictures below illustrate more of what I’m talking about. These are women I’d consider attractive, the last one being on the heavy end of the spectrum.